After being married for a year, I decided that wasn't enough...so I needed a baby! I had all of these great notions and images of me pushing my smiling happy baby down the street with my hot mom body and cradling my sweet sleepy baby. I was still going to be "cool" and play the guitar, write songs, and teach my baby to be a badass rocker. I would hang with my baby, have playdates with friends, cook 3 meals a day and never have laundry in the hamper. If you're a mother you are laughing right now I am sure. I truly believed I could do it.
I feel like after almost 5 months of motherhood, I could write the textbook called "An Introduction to Losing Your Mind: Motherhood at it's Finest". Here are some chapter ideas:
Chapter 1 "Remember when you could remember...wait, you don't remember anything now"
Chapter 2 "Diaper bag, check, bottles, check, keys check...oh wait! Where's the baby?"
Chapter 3 "Do they make mirrors that cut you off from the neck down?"
Chapter 4 "Romance shmomance"
Chapter 5 "Love is a battlefield full of poo"
Hey, this might make a good book! But seriously, motherhood is so much harder than I thought. Most days I feel like a really bad mom, especially when I am bouncing on the exercise ball watching the Bachelorette drinking a beer and holding Serena. Seriously, I do that. But I do it to keep myself sane! Daddy's don't understand because they don't have the hormones driving them up a wall and making them go from laughing to crying in less than a second. Most days I look at my husband and wonder how he does it so well, but then I realize he wouldn't be so good at it if he had gained 35 lbs, birthed a person out if his "you know what" and then dealt with raging hormones and a super bad body image.
I am learning though, day by day, and I wouldn't trade all the tears, diapers and brain farts for ANYTHING.