Jun 22, 2012

Evolution of a Nap

My 2 year old is killing me.
She is in her room right now screaming that she is stuck in her laundry.  Should I let her out?
*Intermission*
Ok I'm back.
Let's see...it's 3pm now, we started before 1pm.
She was in there trying to be a one-man band.  I heard her guitar and keyboard playing simultaneously.
She came out.
She had a poopy diaper.
I changed it and came back out.
Then she was singing happy birthday to each one of the Pooh characters.
She came out.
She had a poopy diaper.
I changed it and came back out.
Then all was quiet until about 30 minutes ago.  I then smelled the Desitin factory through the draft in the doorway.  This can't be good.
I go in.
She has literally taken a brand new tube of Desitin and smeared it all over her legs, hands, arms, pants, shirt, the carpet in various places, her library books and the door.
I am dumbfounded.
I strip her to her diaper and make her lay down in bed while I clean it up.
She is laughing at me.
I do my best to clean it up, the carpet is done for.
I leave again.
Now we are where this post began.  She screams that her fingers are stuck in the laundry.
I go in.
She is naked.  Her diaper is in the laundry basket.
I change her diaper and while I am, she says "sing me a song" I say "what about a song about a little girl who was very bad and pissed off her mommy and ruined the carpet and wouldn't take a nap and is in big trouble...what about that...does that sound like a good song?"
She says "yes".
She is laughing at me.
At this point I am writing this and ignoring her.  I took out all the creams, so the only thing she could be into in there is her wipes, that's easy to clean.  I hear her playing with toys.
...in happier times
I told her that she can stay in there all day.  Fine by me.
...to be continued...

Jun 14, 2012

If You Like Hymns....

....or Pina Coladas.  :)
I recorded this just now for my CRHP sisters (we are learning it next Monday and I am going out of town tonight).  I posted it on my Catholic blog, but I thought I would share it on here too.  It's really bad.  I haven't played in awhile and I just learned it.  Feel free to rip me up.

Jun 13, 2012

Rough Days and Funny Slurs

I know I have it way better than other moms out there, I only have one child for instance.  I know I should not be whining about my life, I have it pretty good, at least I don't have to deal with anyone other than my own offspring.  Yesterday was a bad day.  I hate to say that, it's so whiney.  Serena was being a "terrible two" and I was being a "moody bitch".  I had a glass of wine and since that was the last of the wine, I had a dirty martini...in my wine glass.  Basically I skipped the shaker and martini glass and just poured a random amount of vodka, olive juice and vermouth into my wine glass...which I later shattered by accidentally smashing it into the sink fixture...I have depth perception issues.  Need I say that my mood was turned around?  I was lost in my buzz and I needed it.  
The real reason I wanted to write this post is because I had something funny to say that is too long for a facebook status update.  
Today Serena and I were sitting on the couch and I said "I am the captain of this ship!"
...and she replied "I am the captain dip shit!"
I guess that's not too long for a status update but I like this picture so I'm sticking to it.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
why did I not have one of these?  I would have broke it.
That's all.