Aug 31, 2010

Day 8 Is Great

Day 8 of 25 day list challenge

08. Top 10 favorite movie or TV show characters of all time.

1.  My first top favorite movie or TV character would have to be from my favorite movie, and that's   Billy Madison from...Billy Madison.  S watches me take a shower (that's how I keep her entertained while I get clean) and a lot of times I quote this movie...mostly the part where he's in the bath tub (with his voice) "shampoo is better I go on first and clean the hair...NO conditioner is better I leave the hair silky and smoothe!  Oh really fool....REALLY..........STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!" and S laughs.  I love quoting Billy Madison.

2.  Tony Soprano from The Sopranos.  Alex and I have been watching The Sopranos from the beginning.  We are on Season 2, which he happens to own.  I heard that James Gandolfini hated the character.  I can see that.  It does somewhat glorify the american mobster.  He says the best shit though.  Really.  Tony Soprano is like the dude of all dudes, he's such a hardass, but at the same time, totally helpless and full of mommy issues. He's a middle aged out of shape mobster but kind of sexy because he is so ridiculously confident with women.

3.   Jackson "Jax" Teller  on Sons of Anarchy.  I love him for some of the same reasons as Tony Soprano.  He is so hot (sorry hubby) and so confident with women...he objectifies most women but he puts Tara (his love interest) on this pedestal that makes you want to be his "old lady" so bad.  The biker club puts their "old ladies" at the top of the respect list.  Jax is to me, the #1 badass bad boy on TV.

4.  This is so silly, but   Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City.  She is a confident, sexually open, liberated writer in New York City who is fun, carefree and sexy.  I need a shirt that says "I'm a Carrie".  Everyone thinks they are the "Carrie" type, as much as people think their kid is the cutest.  I don't necessarily want to be Carrie Bradshaw, but her character really opened up the doors for a lot of women to say "Hey, it's cool to speak openly about sex and think that fashion is important".  It also gives the lifelong single girl something to be proud of.

5.  My husband would agree with my fifth pick...the whole cast of the Golden Girls, Blanche Devereaux , Rose NylundDorothy Zbornak, and  Sophia Petrillo  .   There will NEVER be another show as ground breaking and awesome as the Golden Girls.  Did anyone think that a show about 4 old ladies would be so awesome?  Apparently someone did, and thank god for them.  I think all young girls should watch the Golden Girls to see that old ladies are cool and we should respect them because they are funny and cool and we will one day be them.

6.  This one is kind of random, but it popped in my head, Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham in American Beauty.  American Beauty came out when I was a junior in high school and it was all the rage.  It is definitely a different film, very artsy (artsy films are cool now, but were just getting cool then) and it was probably one of the first dark comedies that got me into dark comedies.  I think high school was when I really started to "get" dark comedies.  Lester Burnham is this pathetic father that has a mid-life crisis and does some crazy stuff...but you just have to feel sorry for him, and in the end he is liberated in death.  It's really a great role and Kevin Spacey is highly underrated.  Anyone who can make that character like-able is a great actor.

7.  Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep) and  Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn) in Death Becomes Her.  Working in a cosmetic surgery office for over ten years, makes me think about this movie on a daily basis ( if you have seen it you know why).  It really is a classic comedy.  Madeline and Helen spend most of their lives in competition and being total bitches to each other and in the end they spend eternal life together.  It's just a great movie with two of Hollywood's best actresses ever.

8.  Detective Shane Vendrell from The Shield (TV show).  Alex had me watch all of the seasons of The Shield (it's pretty addictive) and Shane is that douche bag guy that you love to hate.  I think of all the characters of all time I hate him the most.  He's such as asshole!!!  I was so happy to get to the end of that show to see his demise.

9.  Dr. Gregory House on House (TV show).  I love the idea of an asshole doctor.  Hugh Laurie does the best job of being a disabled, recovering pill addict, asshole doctor who you love and respect.  I think it is so important for actors to make their roles like-able, even when the character is not so like-able.  I love Dr.House.  He is such a smart ass!  
10.  Tracy Flick in Election.  Reese Witherspoon is another actor/actress that can make any role like-able.  Election is another dark comedy that came out the same year as American Beauty, and it solidified my love for dark comedy.  Tracy Flick is such a ridiculous character.  She is that annoying over-achiever in high school and it's awesome that they made a leading role out of it.  Reese Witherspoon is so good in that movie.

This one was really hard to do!  There are so many great characters that I didn't list (obviously) and I could go on and on.  These are just ten that I could think of right now.  Day 8 racked my brain!  I need a beer.

Aug 30, 2010

on to the Music and Beer

If you are following my blog (all 3 of you), then you may be wondering "when does the music and beer kick in?".  I mean, I JUST had a baby 5 months ago, so this blog will mostly be about her.  I was also sober for a year before that (9 months of pregnancy and 3 of breast-feeding/hell).  Here is my first "music and beer" post. Thanks to my friends Andrea and Colin, I had a babysitter Saturday night.  Also, thanks to Laura from 98.9 WMMO for VIP tickets to see the Downtown Concert Series "Tears for Fears".  It was also a birthday celebration for my good friend Stephanie.  This one is like a photo/blog post.  Here goes:
This is me, Stephanie (birthday girl) and Elise from WMMO (radio personality).  Stephanie and I always get hammered together.  She is my go to girl for drunken debauchery.  Elise is a hottie and a sweetie and super fun too.  The 3 of us could get into some serious sho.  This was early on in the night.  I actually had had about a half a bottle of wine at this point.  Do I look like it?  Hey, don't judge. This was my night out and my husband is sober, so he drove me home safely.

This is me and the hubby.  As you can see I have added beer into the mix.  There were a couple of bands that opened up for "Tears for Fears", they played cover songs.  I was focusing (trying to focus) on socializing instead of the bands, so I can't really talk about them.  I spent the whole ride home apologizing to Alex for being so drunk and then I apologized for apologizing.  DRUNK ASS.

Here I am.  It is dark at this point.  I must have been super hammered.  I am posing.
Orlando.  O-town.  The city beautiful.  This picture is focused about the same amount my eyes were.
Last but not least, "Tears for Fears".  From what I remember, they were awesome.  They sing great songs from the 80's that you definitely know, but maybe don't know who sings them.  The crowd was HUGE!  I have been  to other DCS (downtown concert series) but this was the most packed.
After I got home, I ate everything in my house and of course S was still awake and tormenting Andrea and Colin.  She knew right away when she saw us, that she was not supposed to be up and she had a devilish grin and giggle.  They may never babysit again.  It was a good concert, and I felt like my pre-baby self for a short while.  Not that that's better, but it sure is great to have some "adult" fun for a night.  FIST PUMP!

Family Tree

Continuing my 25 day list challenge:

07. List the people in your family & a random fact about them.

I guess to make it more interesting I should extend the family list, it would be a boring blog post if I only had Alex and Serena on here.  

Alex-my husband- he was a junior tennis champ when he was a kid ( at least that is what he told me once, maybe to impress me)
Serena-my 5 1/2 month old- She has a birthmark on her lower back (hey, she doesn't have that many facts yet!)
Marta- my mom- She likes to Karaoke. She's in what I call "the circuit"
Roy- my brother- he is really into biking (harley style) and has leathers and a motorcycle jacket with patches and a hot girlfriend on the back (is that more than one fact?)
Roy- my dad- he lives in Lebanon TN (not very interesting)  He has a garden where he makes his own salsa from (is that better?)
...should I go on?
Martha-maternal grandma- her and my grandfather (now deceased) were WAY too sexually explicit.  (She always talked about how sexy his ass was, and they made out a lot).
Edward-maternal grandfather (deceased 3/15/10)- He was an awesome craftsman and artist (they just don't make them like him anymore)
Mary-paternal grandmother- She had never seen a penis until her wedding night (she told me that).

I think that is enough of my family tree. I should have changed the topic to "some boring and explicit facts about my family" We are pretty awesome.

Aug 26, 2010

Home Sweet Home

06. Ten facts about your hometown

Number 6 on my 25 day challenge...10 facts about my hometown.  This is a very boring topic.  I don't know 10 facts about my hometown, so here are 10 things I looked up about my hometown (Apopka, FL).

1.  Our Masonic lodge is the oldest lodge room in continuous use in the State of Florida. Pretty badass.
2.  It is the indoor foliage capital of the WORLD.  I actually knew that already

3.  Before Apopka was "The Indoor Foliage Capital of the World" or even before it was "The Fern City," it was The Lodge.  The Lodge is also a bar in downtown Orlando that I have been very wasted at several times.  Once I kept grabbing my husband's friends groin area while dancing on him.  I felt bad the next day, but no one cared.

4.  Early in the 19th century, Indians again inhabited the area. There was a Seminole village on Lake Apopka, or Ahapopka, as they spelled and pronounced it. It remained an active village until the outbreak of the Second Seminole War in the mid 1830s. Coacoochee (Wild Cat), one of the most famous and influential War Chiefs, was born here and ruled as Chief of about 200 Indians until this village was evacuated and the natives sought refuge in the swampy areas around the St Johns. I have nothing to say about this one.

5.  Mayor John H. Land  is the Longest Serving Mayor in the State of Florida.  Boo Ya.  Congratulations Mayor.  I think this means he is old.

6.  I am running out of facts so here is a map of Apopka.  (This is a factual map).

7.  Apopka is the home of the world's worst HOA (home owners association).  This is not a "proven" fact, but my husband and I believe it is fact.  Our HOA is full of old, racist, elitist, money grubbing bastards and bastardettes. They suck and we can't wait to move.

8.  Apopka. Akpopa.  It's ALMOST a palindrome.  

9.  Here's one I just found that is pretty cool.  Apopka is an Indian word for “Potato eating place”.  That must be true because I eat potatoes at my house in Apopka.

10. ( Wikipedia Apopka)

Notable residents

So I guess Apopka sounds pretty awesome.  I had no idea how cool my city is.  

Aug 24, 2010

Name That Tune

05. Top 10 Favorite songs of all time

Number 5 of my 25 day challenge...stayin' alive! So, of all the songs of all the times, here are 10 that I can think of that are favorites.

1.  Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ral -an Irish lullaby.  My mommy sang this to me and I sing it to my little one.  I actually just recently found out my husband's dad sang it to him.  It's quite possibly my number 1 song of all times because it has been sang/sung (which one?)  for generations in my family, and I hope that will continue with Serena.

2.  "Someone to Watch Over Me" by George Gershwin, but my favorite version is Linda Ronstadt.  My mommy also sang this to me.  It happens to be in a ton of films and all over the place, but every time I hear it I just melt.

3.  Money- by Pink Floyd.  I remember sitting on my brothers bed when I was about 13 and hearing the intro to money (with all the coin sounds) playing in surround sound and thinking that it was the coolest song ever.  I love Pink Floyd, it  brings back many good and bad high school memories of things I shouldn't have been doing, but I am glad I did.

4.  Moonlight Sonata -Beethoven.  I had to put a classical song in here.  I am by no means a classical music buff, but at certain times in my life I will get really into classical music.  In college I heard it helped you study better, but for me I would always want to listen to the song instead.  Moonlight Sonata (Piano Sonata No. 14) is an obvious and popular pick, but it's just so amazing.  It's so deep and beautiful and dark.  

5.  At Last - Etta James version.  This is another obvious pick, but I chose this because it was my Aunt Jan's favorite and we played it at her funeral.  She died in a motorcycle accident in 2004.  She was a badass.  It was a very traumatic time for my family and I miss her.  It also has the best melody and it's so soulful and rich.

6.  Stand By Me -Ben E. King.  I actually loved this movie.  The song embodies childhood for me.  Probably because I watched the movie 100 times when I was a kid.  It has the best bass part.  It's just summery and romantic and I could listen to it 24/7.

7.  Sounds of Silence - Simon and Garfunkel.  I always thought I should have been a child of the 60's.  You don't get better songwriting than S & G, and the lyrics to this song are intoxicating.  Let's just read them together here.
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

How can you not love the lyrics and melody and background and vocals...AHHHHH!  It's great.

8.  Crazy- Patsy Cline.  Why do I feel like my mom is writing this?  This is another song my mom always sang me.  At this point you can see that my mom has influenced my musical tastes...JUST A LITTLE.  She is a great singer and she always sang to me.  So songs that she sang make me feel loved and like I am home. Crazy is one of them.

9. The Funeral - Band of Horses.  So here is a newbie, but a goodie.  This is another song that I could, and do, play over and over again.  I have seen BOH in concert twice and they just blow me away. They are the perfect mix of back woods, folk, and rock....they are contemplative and epic. I love their music.  This song is epic to me.  I love all of their songs though.

10.  Green Eyes - Coldplay.  This definitely isn't one of the top 10 songs of all time.  Coldplay is one of those bands that you love, but don't want to admit because they are so "scene" and overplayed.  If you locked yourself in a room and listened to nothing but Coldplay songs for a day, then I bet you would realize that they are also epic.  This song was my wedding song.  Neither my husband (Alex) or I have green eyes, but the lyrics spoke to me and remind me of my love for Alex.  He was in the Mercant Marines when we met and went off to sea for 6 months shortly after.  This song reminds me of how I feel about him.

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind

Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes
Green eyes



Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand 

Aug 23, 2010

A New Record! Thoughts on Food.

2 posts in one day!  I just thought of something I wanted to write about before I forgot to.  I was just feeling self-starved (trying to get in shape before Chrissy's wedding in Mexico in January) and thought about the idea of quality over quantity.  I was day-dreaming about expensive and decadent food, since that's what I do when I am hungry, and I thought about trying to eat small amounts of expensive foods instead of large amounts of cheap food.  Have you ever thought of this?  For instance, a couple of raspberries, a slice of Ahi Tuna and a few chantrelle mushrooms INSTEAD of a McDonald's #2 meal super-sized.  It's so American to get the cheapest and fattest food possible.  Don't act like you don't think Americans are fat.  It's been proven.  Anyway, that would be one way to lose weight.  I am broke, therefore I would not be able to afford extravagant goods, so I definitely would lose my last 5 lbs of baby weight.  Also, I need to stop buying lot's of cheap clothing that falls apart after 1 washing, and buy 1 really nice piece of clothing.  That's REALLY hard to do.   Just and idea I had while peeing and starving.


04. Top 10 Favorite movies of all time

I like this one!  I love movies.  I actually took took film classes when I went to UCF.  I wanted to become a screenwriter, but then I realized I would never make any money at it, so I quit.  There were all of these kids that wanted to be screenwriters that had no talent for writing (not that I know writing talent), and it was sad because they were spending all this money on a film degree that was probably going to be worthless.  That's not very positive, but it's true.  I guess I could have seen it through, but I was tired of spending the money on something I wasn't sure of. So here are ten movies I love.

1.  Billy Madison.  Adam Sandler was so popular when I was in my teenage impressionable years and so most of my favorite comedies are his.  I love the premise of an adult having to go back to school.  I pretty much know every line of the movie from start to finish, voices and all.
2.  Beauty and the Beast.  It's my favorite Disney movie.  Belle was so much cooler than Cinderella.  I loved that she was a bookworm like me.  I also can relate to douche bag guys like Gaston.   Beast is very sexy and sweet.
3.  Shawshank Redemption.  This is not really my third favorite movie of all time, but every time it is on, I always get sucked in.  It is just so engaging and everytime the warden lifts that poster and finds the escape hole, I get so giddy.  It is the quintessential "Boo Ya" movie.  It gets me every time.
4.  Superbad.  This movie is so hysterically funny to me.  I just love geeky kids.  When I was in high school I was a a cheerleader/lacrosse player/stoner etc. and I was always friends with everyone.  I loved my dork friends. Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are so real and funny and I can really relate to them.  Judd Apatow is a genius.  I love all of his films including Funny People which is new and strange and different.
5.  Pineapple Express.  The best stoner movie ever made.  I know my stoner friends would kill me for saying that probably, but for me, the whole time I watched it I laughed so hard and wanted to smoke weed so bad.  This movie introduced me to the awesomeness of  Danny McBride.  I really think James Franco's acting is highly underrated.  This is a must see if you have ever smoked.
6.  Clueless.  Who doesn't love this movie? Paul Rudd was so dreamy.  I was 14 when this came out.  Alicia Silverstone was a goddess.  I lived this movie.  It's not so much that it is a great film, it's just that when I watch it, it reminds me of my youth in a good way.
7.  Role Models.  Another Paul Rudd movie.  Not that many people have seen it.  It's a great premise with hilarious dialogue between kids and adults.  It's one of my new favorite comedies.  
8.  Days of Thunder.  I love old Tom Cruise movies.  He was so gorgeous and cool.  Obviously Top Gun is a favorite too, but Days of Thunder is where it's at.  I love sports movies, and this is one of the best.  It also reminds me of childhood, mostly Saturday afternoon movies.  It was always playing.
9.  Double Jeopardy.  Another movie that when it comes on, I have to watch it.  It's another of my favorite suspense/ "Boo Ya" movies.  The ending is priceless.  Who doesn't love a woman scorned that gets her revenge on a true asshole.  
10.  Can't Buy Me Love.  It's a stupid 80's teen movie, but I wanted to BE Cindy Mancini (Amanda Peterson).  She was the coolest, hottest cheerleader ever.  I really wanted her car, a white Cabriolet.  I love the "geek to sheik" storyline.

Aug 20, 2010


3.  Seven Secrets. (day 3 of the writing challenge)

Seven secrets?  I don't have seven secrets.  Let's see what I can come up with.  If I tell seven supposed secrets, then they will not be secrets anymore.  Plus, I don't even have that many, so now I will have none.  I am being dramatic.  Here goes.
1.  I drink alone
2.  I masturbate
3.  I use my office's stamps for personal use
4.  I drank on the job before
5.  I know someone who is pregnant and not telling people
6.  I eat my husbands food and say it is good when it is sometimes not so good.
7.  I stalk people on facebook

There. That wasn't so bad.  Don't judge. If these are all considered secrets then I guess I have plenty.

Aug 19, 2010

Day 2 of 25 Day Challenge

02. Ten random facts about yourself
These things are never really random.  
1.  Fact. I just ate a Kashi frozen meal and wished it was a double quarter pounder with cheese
2.  Fact. I need to workout.
3.  Fact. I love my husband so much more everyday and wonder how that is possible.
4.  Fact. I miss being a teenager.
5.  Fact. I think vegetarianism is retarded.
6.  Fact. I wish I had read more classic literature so I could sound smarter when people discuss literature.
7.  Fact. I feel bad for not putting the effort into visiting family that I do with visiting friends.
8.  Fact. I think I have lost all musical ability and creativity since having a baby.  And I hate that.
9.  Fact. If I were rich, I wouldn't be for very long because I am an impulsive spender and I fight the urge to shop because I am broke.
10. Fact. I think Band of Horses and Interpol are highly underrated and may be 2 of the best bands ever.

Aug 18, 2010

25 Day Lists Challenge

I stole this idea off another blog.  She did the "25 days of music" and "25 days of movies" and then I found this one while searching the web:


Lists Challenge
01. Five most important/memorable childhood memories
02. Ten random facts about yourself
03. Seven secrets
04. Top 10 Favorite movies of all time
05. Top 10 Favorite songs of all time
06. Ten facts about your hometown
07. List the people in your family & a random fact about them
08. Top 10 favorite movie or TV show characters of all time
09. A random list (one can be found on or
10. 10 random things that you remember from school
11. Top 10 Tumblr blogs, according to you
12. Five chores that you love, 5 chores that you hate
13. Top 10 things you look for in a friend
14. Top 10 things you look for in a romantic partner
15. 10 places you want to visit before you die
16. Put your music player on shuffle, list the first 10 songs that come up
17. 5 favorite actors, 5 favorite actresses
18. 10 most important people in your life
19. 10 things that you could not live without
20. 10 favorite websites
21. 10 favorite games
22. 10 things that you love about yourself
23. 5 Favorite Foods, 5 least favorite foods
24. 10 most influential people/things/events in your life
25. 10 of your wildest dreams

Well, having a baby at home and working full time will make it hard to do these is 25 days...I guess that's the challenge, so I am going to be lazy and do it in 50.  Double or nothin'.  I guess it's not really a challenge anymore, but at least it will get me thinking.  No one really knows all of this stuff about anyone, so whoever reads this blog will surely know me well by the end.  Here goes.  
1.  Five most important/memorable childhood memories

So, these are not in order of importance.  I am just going to rattle off the first five things that pop into my head.  The first is the memory of my great-grandmother.  She died when I was 6 years old.  She is one of the only memories I have when I was really young.   I remember her so vividly that sometimes I have these realistic dreams of us just sitting around talking, when I am an adult.  They are awesome.  I mostly remember her making egg salad and me standing by her asking her for a sandwich, and then she says "Oh no, I didn't make you any", but of course she did.  I remember her giving me rides on her lap in her wheelchair in the store.  She had lost her leg due to diabetes.  I also remember her throwing her shoe at us to get us to listen to her (she was a big German woman).   Mostly I remember one day when she fell in the kitchen after getting up from the dining room table to go get butter.  The whole experience of her falling, the ambulances etc., was very traumatic.  I also remember when she was dying in the hospital and they would not let me see her because I was too small.

The second memory I have is of my grandfather (not biological) Lou Lou who died when I was about 14.  He was bed ridden and when I was little my mom (she was divorced from my father and would still take us to see her in-laws) would take us to my grandma's about an hour away, and we would visit.  We always brought him Crown Royal.  We (my brother and I) would sit next to his bed and he would just chat with us about life and stuff.  I think my other cousins were scared of him or didn't bother to spend time with him, but I loved him so much.  He was so interesting and loving.

The third memory I have is a happier memory (am I bringing you down yet?).  I remember being in my yard, we had about an acre, sitting in trees or by the lake or on my tree swing, making up songs.  I was always singing.  I only ever sang by myself.  I would sit there and make up songs.  

My fourth memory that comes to mind is my mother.  She was/is a young mom, she had me when she was 20.  She was always so beautiful and fun.  I remember her clothes were so cool and she would be getting ready to go out and I would watch her get dressed and pick out her shoes and jewelry.  She had such great taste.  I wanted to grow up and fit in her heels and borrow her jewelry.   She is a cosmetologist and she had these great friends that she would party with, when she had the time, and they were always so fun and cool.  I wanted to be just like her.  She can still light up a room.

My fifth memory that comes to mind is my uncle Ted.  He is 10 years older than me and was always so cool.  He used to take me places to help him get girls or impress his girlfriends.  I remember him teaching me how to do cartwheels.  I remember one time we put hot peppers on my brothers sandwich because my brother said he hated them.  He ate the whole sandwich and I just giggled so much.  When he was done my uncle said "how did you like it" and he said he loved it.  He was so embarrassed when we told him there were peppers on it.  My uncle Ted was the best.  He was good looking and popular and I wanted to be just like him.  I always loved all the attention I got from him.  I also remember he always threw me so high in the pool.  That's the best.

Aug 16, 2010

Photo Whore

I bought Alex a Nikon SLR digital camera for his birthday/Xmas/ and every other holiday for the next 4 years. He was not happy at first but then I told him we would save tons or money by DIY'ing our photos.  I have been lusting after an awesome camera for awhile and I figured that buying it for him is actually buying it for "us". Serena NEEDS lot's of photo shoots and we cannot afford to hire a full time photographer for her. Of course, we think S is the cutest baby ever. I'm not going to put her in pageants or anything (Alex would kill me) but I love to scrapbook and I am obsessed with taking pictures. My mom can't seem to find any of MY baby pictures, which she blames on me, so that is more of a reason to take millions of photos of S. So now that I(we) have this super duper badass camera, I have realized that I am not a photographer! I guess you need to know how to take photos...Doesn't the camera do it for me? That sounds VERY blonde. Luckily my husband thinks he is a photographer, so S and I are models now! I want to do photo shoots all day every day. It's really fun and Alex gets to practice. We just took a bunch of photos of my 4 year old cousin. Of course my aunt and uncle think he should be a model. We were having that discussion last night about how everyone thinks their kid is the best-looking. So here are a couple of pics we took this weekend. The one of us in front of the music shop is a series I want to frame, we had that same pic taken in our engagement session and then again when I was really preggo with S. I am going to frame the 3 together. The other 2 are from the shoot we did with S in her Dolphins cheerleader outfit and me in my bucs shirt. I will throw in one that Alex did of S in all of her lady bug themed apparel and accessories.  What else will we think of?  Say cheese!

Aug 5, 2010

Home Alone..AHHHHH

Tonight will be my first night sleeping alone with Serena. Alex is going a few hours away to take an exam. I have a lot of anxiety about being alone with her through the night. I am so immature sometimes! Mostly I am concerned, like most nights, that I will just be like "I don't hear you, I don't hear you" and go back to sleep instead of getting up to feed her. Working full time makes it so hard to get up because you know you have to get up in a few hours and go work all day. I always just try to keep shoving the paci back in her mouth and hoping she gets the hint. After about 30-40 minutes of that I finally coax myself into getting up. Today I am over tired, I have that "cried all night" heaviness in my eyes that I can't seem to get rid of. Yes, I did drink a huge coffee and no, it didn't do anything. So now that I am super tired, I feel like after a work day, watching Serena, having my dad come over to meet Serena (first time since he lives in Tennessee), and my brother and his girlfriend coming too, I will DEFINITELY not be able to handle her. I should suck it up though, I know. I just have to keep telling myself "you can do it".

There are so many sayings like "I can do anything, I am a mommy" but I haven't really felt that way yet. I still feel like "Renee", and "Renee" is not an expert on anything, nor do I try to be. I am a little too easygoing and unsure at the same time. When it comes to Serena, I mostly listen to everyone else instead of myself because I feel like "what do I know about babies". I think that thinking I can do anything just because I birthed a child is ridiculous and just a little self-centered. Plus it's probably bad karma. Maybe one day, after 3 kids (if I have anymore), only then will I feel like I can conquer the world. For now I would just like to conquer tonight!