Rough Days and Funny Slurs

I know I have it way better than other moms out there, I only have one child for instance.  I know I should not be whining about my life, I have it pretty good, at least I don't have to deal with anyone other than my own offspring.  Yesterday was a bad day.  I hate to say that, it's so whiney.  Serena was being a "terrible two" and I was being a "moody bitch".  I had a glass of wine and since that was the last of the wine, I had a dirty martini...in my wine glass.  Basically I skipped the shaker and martini glass and just poured a random amount of vodka, olive juice and vermouth into my wine glass...which I later shattered by accidentally smashing it into the sink fixture...I have depth perception issues.  Need I say that my mood was turned around?  I was lost in my buzz and I needed it.  
The real reason I wanted to write this post is because I had something funny to say that is too long for a facebook status update.  
Today Serena and I were sitting on the couch and I said "I am the captain of this ship!"
...and she replied "I am the captain dip shit!"
I guess that's not too long for a status update but I like this picture so I'm sticking to it.
Hahahahahahahahaha.

why did I not have one of these?  I would have broke it.

That's all.