How Red Box Saved my Marriage

"You are so brave for traveling with four kids!"
If I had a dollar for every time I heard THAT during this holiday season. But you know what? Fuck it. The kids scream and cry and fight at home and they're going to do it in the car, so basically we are screwed either way. But I highly underestimated their ability to drive me nuts. I've always said that I understand why the divorce rate is so high, once you've had kids. I think I probably say 5 words to my husband during the week. We have a really strong marriage... meaning we are too lazy to get a divorce. No, I'm just kidding, we love each other a lot and we are meant to be.
But back to the point, on the way there Alex kept saying that we can't let the kids watch a movie on the 7 hour trip to his parents, which is really like 10 hours, because the kids behavior was so bad. Which I totally understand, but I'm the parent that gives in, so that my life will be easier. And so I'm not going to go into details because it wasn't pretty, but basically some really heavy shit went down and we almost got a divorce on the way up there. So, as you can imagine a week with the in-laws no matter how amazing they are and how much booze they have, after an epic blowout fight...4 Redbox rentals on the way home.
4 movies, 67 potty breaks, one diaper blowout (which we were happy about because she apparently is too embarrassed to poop at peoples houses, like my best friend) and our marriage was as good as new. 
So when you lose your mind, and you say "hey, I think I'll take 4 kids on a road trip, just remember to stop at Redbox. And if you don't have a DVD player like I know a lot of you are going to say, then don't go. Save yourself and your marriage.