Sep 16, 2010
Let's give em' somethin' to talk about
I know that everyone has these.
Do you know what I am talking about?
I cannot give an example because I know it will be used against me in some way. There are all of these memories and clashing wants and needs that are constantly clouding my brain. I wonder if other people have this going on too. There is this deep want for the past, not to do over, but to just be there again...for nostalgia or comfort or something. I love the present and look forward to the future. It is hard to separate past from present and future. To live in the present is a bad idea I think. I cannot shut off my past experiences and I really don't want to. It's like my secret place to go. I feel like at this point in my life, I kind of know where my life is headed and I like it. That doesn't stop me from thinking about all of the different pathways I could have taken, like relationships that I could have kept or educational decisions I have made, or even getting off of my lazy ass to pursue dreams. It's bittersweet for sure. I love my life right now. Could I have loved it even more on one of the other paths? I don't think I could, but I cannot help wondering.